Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
