I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
