New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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