nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize