I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
