haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
