which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Houston, we have a blender
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize