PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
