Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
