She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize