hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
