am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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