I'm pants shitting drunk right now
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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