we have pet lesbian snakes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
