If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
