you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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