I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
