Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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