Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
