when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
