i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
