every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
