I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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