Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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