Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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