come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
True strength comes from lack of pants
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
