i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
