seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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