Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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