I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
