would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
