woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize