i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
