the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
