i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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