I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
