I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
