GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
