should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
