shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
