There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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