The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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