I like to think it a success when the cops are called
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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