well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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