please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
