My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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