bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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