my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize