Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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