we're chasing vodka with high fives
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
