K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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