I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
we have officially lost it.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
