I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
