I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
