Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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