i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's rum buckets o'clock
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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