they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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