Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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