Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
