Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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