does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
