We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
