The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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