So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
