im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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