I love black thongs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dick very happy bro
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