why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
