There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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